i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
