it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
