We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
