whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize