I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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