How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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