This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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