I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
