I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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