Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just threw up on my dentist
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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