I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
