Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
