Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You don't make any sense
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