I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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