Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
