Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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