so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
