I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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