I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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