It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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