I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
