Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
