dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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