I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
