i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
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People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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