so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
