i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
