I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
