That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
