Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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