He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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