people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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