THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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