Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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