Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dicks are not precious.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
