i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
