Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
