i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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