Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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