Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
