it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
