She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
