"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
