you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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