The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
