Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
