Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
