Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize