I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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