Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable