I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
