That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.