Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books

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  (607): your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books http://tfl.nu/j6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (1261) Bad night (571)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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  (416): Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine. http://tfl.nu/wzgr
  Replies (4) Good night (2206) Bad night (558)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't date a girl from every country.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm the captain planet of women

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  (678): You can't date a girl from every country. (770): I'm the captain planet of women http://tfl.nu/8wp1
  Replies (19) Good night (5026) Bad night (568)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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  (970): I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower. http://tfl.nu/95p5
  Replies (8) Good night (3211) Bad night (1128)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.

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  (570): do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome. http://tfl.nu/5az6
  Replies (5) Good night (5183) Bad night (733)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.

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  (386): Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target. http://tfl.nu/eg9l
  Replies (5) Good night (4108) Bad night (829)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall

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  (440): Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall http://tfl.nu/to1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1730) Bad night (1385)
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  (845): View more from New York

  He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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  (845): He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up. http://tfl.nu/zpkp
  Replies (3) Good night (2588) Bad night (880)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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  (412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh
  Replies (6) Good night (2838) Bad night (1408)
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  (925): View more from California

  370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

  (1-925): View more from California

  what are you doing with your life

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  (925): 370HSSV 0773H read that upside down (1-925): what are you doing with your life http://tfl.nu/25tc
  Replies (19) Good night (5088) Bad night (1308)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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  (618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577
  Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (1730)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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  (814): "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year." http://tfl.nu/a90h
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (457)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?

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  (248): So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ? http://tfl.nu/drtr
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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  (302): We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark. http://tfl.nu/uofm
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (281)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.

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  (678): actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting. http://tfl.nu/fq7i
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (294)

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