My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I touched a dick in church today
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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