TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
