Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
