just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
