margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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