it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
