did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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