i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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